Meat Raffle!

In the wonderful land of Minnesota, I am crowned King of the Meat Raffle (more on that story later). You are most likely asking, "Russell, what is a Meat Raffle?" It is exactly what it sounds like, raffling off meat.

In the great state of Minnesota (and also Wisconsin (remember, moving to Wisconsin is closer to me than staying in your rotting meat state), which is next to Minnesota for those who are poor with geography) we know how to have a good time when at a bar, pub, or out to grab a bite to eat. Apparently we raffle off meat at the same time to increase the amount of good times had by all. I know this idea seems hard to grasp, so I will walk everybody through it.

1. Some person unveils a table full of meat (everybody is in awe at this point).
2. The host(s) informs everybody what charity, athletic booster, school program they are raising money for (giving money to good causes and possibly getting free meat for it is a good thing).
3. The host(s) then walk table to table and stool to stool asking if people want to buy any meat raffle ticket for just $1 a piece (when they ask, there is this understanding that everybody wants to play. Why wouldn't you want to play? And guess what, you feel the same way).
4. You buy a ticket, or possibly more. However, there will be multiple games, so pick your favorite method (I choose the single ticket, mainly because we only had $1).
5. After they sell all the tickets they have for the current round, they spin the magic meat raffle wheel (it has numbers on it that should correspond to your ticket if you are the winner and you know how to read integers).
6. You check to see if you won. If you lose, try again with the next round (Cyclical excitement).
7. If you win, you walk up to a table with a ton of meat on it and pick your cut/package and they put it back in the freezer/fridge with your name on it to pick up before you leave (you now successfully conquered the meat raffle).

And that is basically all that happens. This might be a case of "you had to be there" to understand the beauty of the event. And guess what, it looks like moving to Minnesota is the easiest way to experience it.

My story. We only had $1, we played it in the first round, our number was called, we won. I guess the story seems simple, but think about the wonderful imagery above, describing the raffle, and then reread my story. It should sound better.

I know my vegetarian and vegan friends may be disgusted by the thought of a meat raffle. To remedy that, I invite you to move to Minnesota and we can throw an awesome farmers market raffle (yes we have those) or some other non-meat food raffle.

What for charity super good times watching a wheel spin calling out a number to inform you that you won a prize of more meat than you know what to do with event does your rancid meat city have to offer?

Snow!

That's right, it recently snowed here. Snow is awesome. We have it, you don't.

What kind of lukewarm, non-beautiful precipitation does your I'm afraid to drive, walk or breathe outside during the winter city have.

Attention - Free Rent In Minnesota

 A few weeks a wonderful Chicagoite? Chicagonian? Chicagogander? Let's just call him Jon, said he was waiting for a post with something similar to the title above:

Attention - Free Rent In Minnesota

I posted it again in case you couldn't see it or it was too far for you scroll up to see since I am sure you use some hindering resolution similar to 640x480. We don't do that in Minnesota.

Since the challenge (I considered it a challenge) I have been having a hard time thinking of a way to lure you into this fine state with Free Rent.

Here are the possible solutions I had and their downfalls:

1. Squatting - There are many places to squat in this city and you can even use the squatters symbol (like they did two doors down (no, not the band or the other lesser known (don't worry) flint area band)). Sure there have been some amazing actions in Minnesota helping people stay in their homes when they are being evicted around here (it gets cold here (trust me, you will love the weather)). The problem is, people squat everywhere, all over the country and world.

2. My Couch/Spare bedroom - As much as I would love to see all of you, I don't think my house can fit all of my family and friends (The entire lot (6) of you).

3. House Van - This is the best option. Did you know that Minnesota has the highest number of awesome nomadic van dwellers? It probably doesn't. I just made that up. Anyway, one of my friends (let's forever refer to him as Indianapolis Nate) already has a preferred parking space behind my house to park his future van house any time he wants. Once again, not everybody can live in my tiny parking pad in the alley.

There are more options, but they all end in the same place. You can't all fit in my house or they are no different that living in any other place. So, since you now understand that your city is no different than mine for free rent, quit your long search for a free place to live and just live here, since it is apparently the only thing holding you back.

What kind of... this one sucks. Make up your own "What kind of XYZ does your ABC city have to offer?"

Welcome To Pig's Eye

All of our cities and states have their interesting histories (not really yours, only mine does) that we can all be proud of or just baffled by. Sometimes the history is something that only the They Might Be Giants will appreciate.

Well, in the honor of Constantinople and New Amsterdam comes Pig's Eye, the city name that may only be rivaled by Porkopolis (apparently just a nickname, but a wicked nickname).

Pig's Eye, the once great name of what we now all refer to as Saint Paul, was the heart and center of all culture in the entire world and center to civilization during the... I had to stop myself there. None of that culture and worldwide civilization stuff is true. Pig's Eye is just a great name for a great city.

It all started with Pierre "Pig's Eye" Parrant, that nice looking man who thrived in a town that eventually was named after him (well at least after his nickname because I am fairly certain that his parents (nor legally through some government document) gave him the middle name Pig's Eye with or without the quotation marks around it).

We should all read/research the wonderful history of old Pig's Eye through various sites, look up information on Pig's Eye brand beer or look up information on what became of Pig's Eye following the name change to Saint Paul (in case you were wondering, it is still awesome).

What terrible and horrific names did your "I've only had one name and no imagination" city have in the past.

***Be warned if you do a image search on Pig's Eye. I did that to try and find a nice image of the Pierre of the likeness of him in the beer brand. It wasn't pretty, unless you like pictures of pig's eyes. I don't.***

Tall/Freak/Mutant Bikes

Continuing the bike trend is the amazing tall bike and types of freak/mutant bikes. If a bike a is a great thing, another bike that is made of multiple bikes must be a greater thing.

How do tall bikes, something that exists around the world, fit into Minnesota? Let me tell you about The Black Label Bike Club. The Black Label Bike Club (started in Minneapolis) is considered the first outlaw bicycle club.

All of the recent craze, including the international Black Label Bike Club chapters and many other bike clubs that have started, didn't start until this group of people from Minneapolis decided that they were going to do something cool/fun/unique (the way we like to do things here in Minnesota).

I could bore you with talking about tall bikes and describing why they are cool, but until you see them in person, hang out with friends who have them and get scared to get on one yourself, my words will probably mean nothing. So go, look them up, see crazy pictures, check out the history, look into your nearest bike club and remember to thank Minnesota for making it a popular thing for you to enjoy.

Punk comic Nothing Nice To Say had a continuing story about Bike Gangs and tall bikes, if you wanted to laugh while reading this (oh, and this guy was originally from Minnesota).

For Derek, who thinks it is too cold to ride a bike in Minnesota, check out this Nothing Nice To Say comic.

Also, here is a Minnesota new article in case you wanted a little more information.

When is the last time your short, single frame high city created a growing and sustainable subculture?

Cycles, Cycles, Cycles

After describing the amazing Pedal Pub to everybody, I decided to make cycles (in their many forms) be the next tangent for the foreseeable future (just to clarify, I do not mean unforeseeable, because I do know how many posts this tangent will contain).

I know most of you were thinking after the last post (feel free to tell me what happens when somebody assumes), that gigantic quadracycle looked amazing, but how would that be a practical way to traverse the city, especially since you need 8-10 people to power it. This is correct, unless all my friends move to Minnesota, then we will always have an abundant supply of leg power. Well, do I have a solution for you.

Bicycles. 2 wheels instead of 4. What a simple fix. Sure, each of your cities has bikes and many of you (hopefully) own a bike. I'm so glad for you, what a great accomplishment for your city (spoken in the tone when you demean somebody by saying "that's cute").

I did a little research (known as hanging out with friends and hearing typical conversations in this lovely state) and found out that Minneapolis is now considered the best bike city in America. Take that Portland. I don't know if "America" is supposed to be only the United States of America or the entire Americas. I am hoping for the entire New World.

Do you want to travel on the Greenway through the heart of the city?

Maybe you want to bike along the Mississippi for a beautiful nature ride.

Perhaps you want to bike through the streets on the many friendly bike lanes.

What number 1 green transportation ranking does your rusty chain, can't get out of 1st gear city have to offer?

Pedal Pub

It seems my posts may be a little too beer related lately. But what can you expect from a home brewer (look at me act like an expert after brewing just one delicious batch of beer)?

Recently I was invited to celebrate my brother-in-law's birthday. The plan was to ride on a gigantic quadracycle and drink beer for a few hours. Drink beer in the streets? What? In traffic? On a quadracycle (I didn't even know that was a real term)? Something didn't seem right/legal about this.

Let me introduce you to the Pedal Pub centered in wonderful Minneapolis, MN (you know, one of those cities in the state of Minnesota that I want you to move to). Don't worry, the person driving does not drink, you are just the human power of the operation.

Have you ever thought to yourself, I wish I could spend time with my friends getting exercise while we drink beer, rather than putting on millions of micrograms in each sitting? You have the opportunity here in Minnesota!

Have you ever though to yourself, I wish I could reinvent the idea of a pub crawl since it is so outdated and overdone? You have the opportunity here in Minnesota!

Have you ever thought to yourself, I wish I could join my friends and family and pedal a quadracycle through a beautiful city (with multiple routes, including custom routes), eat some snacks, drink some beer, laugh, wave to people on the street, and brag to my friends who don't live by me that I got to do all of the above on a sunny weekend? You have the opportunity here in Minnesota!

There are a some rules, which I think are important and make me enjoy it even more.
1. No yelling at people on the street.
2. Definitely don't yell at or act/speak lewd/inappropriate to children.
3. Don't get drunk and unruly.
4. Probably some others that mean the same thing as, don't be an idiot or jerk.

Do you not drink beer or alcohol? That is fine. You can take the trip with Root Beer and I imagine other non alcoholic drinks. We don't stop people from having a fun time with their friends on a quadracycle throughout a city in Minnesota based on their drink choice like your city most likely does.

What kind of get off your lazy butt (or sitting on your butt and burning calories by pedaling) drinking activities does your sluggish and repetitive drinking games city have to offer.

Competition

Before I get back to informing everybody of all the wonderful Minnesota activities/attractions/life changing locations, I feel I need to make a challenge to at least one individual (the challenge will be open to all).

A few days ago, I talked with a friend from Indianapolis, Indiana, whom I met at my current job and used to live in Minnesota and moved back to Indiana over 2 years ago. This friend has curly hair and has a last name that is 6 letters long. He/She also has a dog named Sada. This friend will remain nameless. My friend mentioned making his/her own blog about why Indianapolis is cool.

Well, I haven't seen this blog yet. It looks like there is no competition between Minnesota and any other place.

I guess to make this a reason why you should move to Minnesota I could say "Minnesota is the only place that has a blog dedicated to getting friends to move to Minnesota."

Minnesota is the only place that has a blog dedicated to getting friends to move to Minnesota

What super, awesome, extraordinary, rad, fantastic, totally harsh blog does your unsuper, unawesome, unextraordinary, unrad, unfantastic, untotally harsh city have to offer?

Victory?

After starting this blog I was trying to figure out what a victory would be. Do I have to get my friends to move to Minnesota, just like the blog title says, in order to claim a victory? What if one of my friends moved from Michigan to Wisconsin? Is that a victory, a partial victory, simply unfortunate since they didn't complete their transfer?

Well, you can call today's news a victory or whatever else you wish (however, if you don't call it some sort of victory, I will declare you are wrong). Roy and Jenny, who were living in Hong Kong, have plans to move back to Seattle, Washington. Sure they lived there before they moved to Hong Kong for a year. I guess they knew their relocation to Hong Kong wasn't permanent. Yes, I know that Washington isn't neighboring Minnesota. But, when I use Google Maps to calculate the directions from Hong Kong Island to Saint Paul, this is the answer I get:

We could not calculate directions between Hong Kong Island, Hong Kong and Saint Paul, MN.

I figured that maybe there was some Google Maps fluke, so I attempted to calculate the distance to Seattle:

We could not calculate directions between Hong Kong Island, Hong Kong and Seattle, WA.

I was too discouraged to try another city, so I came to the most logical conclusion that somebody who didn't spend any time using logic to come to a conclusion should come to.

1. Hong Kong is the constant starting position for both direction calculations.
2. Both destinations (Saint Paul and Seattle in case you forgot) have the same set of directions from Hong Kong "We could not calculate directions between"
3. Both Saint Paul and Seattle start with the letter "S"
4. If you flip the "W" in Washington upside down and then replace "ashington" with "innesota" you get Minnesota.
5. When my friends eventually move back to Seattle, they are equivalently moving to Minnesota.
6. Victory.

Welcome home to Washinton Minnesota.

When have you been able to take the credit for unwittingly convincing you friends to leave their country (not a just town down the road) to move to your geographically challenged city?

Free Bacon Wednesdays

Bacon! Bacon! BACON!
(spoken in the voice of that dog running around the house looking forward to getting/finding bacon. Unfortunately, this dog was fooled into eating Beggin' Strips, but you (if you move to Minnesota) can be saved from this embarrassment).

Have you ever yearned to live where bacon freely flows from taps? When I say "flows from taps", I don't mean flow like water or beer, but flow like bacon.

Let me introduce to you the Triple Rock Social Club, home to good music, good food and good drink. The perfect place for the gregarious gastronome. Every Wednesday (I hope they still do this because all of our arteries need it) is Free Bacon Wednesdays. This is not "Kids Eat Free... if your parents pay too much for their crappy meal" or "Kids Stay Free... if your parents already paid for the entire room" or even "Movies are free... if you sneak them off the store shelf and into your coat pocket." No, my underprivileged friends, this is free bacon.

I know there are vegans/vegetarians/pescetarians/raw foodist who will quickly write off the Triple Rock; please, do not be so hasty. The Triple Rock specializes in a plethora of wonderful vegetarian and vegan dishes.

Straight from the horses mouth (and by horse I mean internet):
"What's that? You say you can't eat bar food because you don't eat meat? Well this is your lucky day! You have never seen a bar with so many vegetarian and vegan options! We have vegetarian hot wings, vegan sloppy joes, even vegan chili cheese fries! Hell you could get a Vegan White Russian to wash your meal down!"

Bacon is not one of my favorite foods. In fact, it is probably near the bottom third of the list of food I willingly eat. I don't despise the stuff, but I don't love it. The idea of Free Bacon is what makes this a time honored tradition, not the individual's love or hate of bacon.

Keep in mind this is bacon, not popcorn. Many bars will have free popcorn or free pretzels. Seems like the Triple Rock understands that salt food is only there to make you thirsty so you will purchase another round. Luckily for Minnesotans (shame on the rest of the world), the standard was set higher with salty bacon.

Did I mention all of this is located in one of the best venues here in Minnesota? Well, all of this is located in one of the best venues here in Minnesota.

As I am writing this post, I realize there is not much more than I can say that "FREE BACON WEDNESDAYS" does not already say. Think of it as a priceless, juicy piece of art or a beautiful, never ending (until the bacon runs out) landscape. You only have to stare at it (eat it) to appreciate it.

Still not convinced. At least you can rattle off many puns and cliche's like, "Honey, I'm headed to the Triple Rock tonight to bring home the bacon" and "What are you bacon?" Get it, "baking"... "bacon"? Horrible. Horrible. Horrible.

What free weekly treats does your swine infested pig sty of a city have?

Punk Rock Bowling

Today's reason for you, all the important and cool people in life (which I can't figure out if it is more of a compliment to you or to me since it makes it seem like I only know awesome people), to move to Minnesota is Punk Rock Bowling.

I am sure if you take the time to look up Punk Rock Bowling, you will find that many cities around the not quite spherical world have some sort of punk rock bowling tournament. Also, you may find events or nights where people bowl and listen to punk rock music on the radio/sound system/jukebox. That is not the point of my article. So please, go look up these cities, look up these events and feel good that you found some information on the internet. Then think hard about the fact that you used the internet (one of the easiest technological inventions (ideas) to gather information) to fuel your "research", when in reality you didn't do any work at all. You didn't find a cool place that has punk rock bowling and visit the venue. You did not bowl/watch bands/play in bands there (I hope this will encourage you to find place like this and go there).

So what is punk rock bowling and why should you move to Minnesota just for this amazing weekly event?

To answer that question, I should first answer your questions and address your imaginary concerns.

You may also be saying, "I hate punk rock. In fact, I hate music!" I cannot do much to help this view. I can however say, "Guess what, you can still bowl!" That is about all I can do for you. I'm sorry. I hope you don't say you also hate bowling. If you do, I am going to start to question if you are just a negative person in general. Please find something to have joy in.

Some of you might say, "I don't listen to punk rock anymore, I grew up in my mid twenties finally and I no longer take part in listening to music dictated by fads. I listen to Indie, Baroque Pop, Alt-Country, Shoegaze, Math Rock, Metalcore, Lo-Fi, Post Rock, Noise, Garage Rock, and Folk. See I grew up and don't listen to music that follows fads." I think this statement needs no further explanation of why you might be closed minded to the idea of punk rock bowling. I invite you to leave your interesting comfort zone and join me for some good times.

**************
(I think I put at least one style in there for each of you, If I missed one, feel free to add it yourself, then realize you are helping my point. Also, it is important to note that I am not saying all those styles of music are bad. In fact I like stuff from all of them and many more styles. This is not a rant about which style of music is the best, this is a rant about punk rock bowling and moving to Minnesota).
**************

The last concern that I can only imagine you will have is, "I don't like bowling". I truly do not believe that a person can say this. If you post a comment that says you hate bowling, I will know you are lying and trying to break my heart.

There, I think I addressed all valid concerns, questions (please do not point out that there were no questions addressed) and we can now move on to the wonder that is Punk Rock Bowling.

Every Monday in Minneapolis you can bowl from 10pm to close, enjoy live music in the center of the lanes, and hang out with all of your friends. Punk Rock Bowling is always free (unless you want to bowl, then you have to pay, but that is still cheap). There is usually a mix of local and touring bands so you don't have to feel like you always see the same local bands (although our local bands are good).

Punk Rock Bowling has been the best place that I can invite my friends and family to watch my band play a show.
1. It is free. Did I already mention that?
2. Most people I know do not really enjoy hardcore punk (this is fine, I respect that) and they would feel weird hanging out in a crusty basement to watch us play. This gives them the opportunity to see something that I am passionate about in a comfortable place for them.
3. There is something about allowing somebody to bowl while they watch you that makes them want to come back more and more, even if they would never listen to your style of music. I have friends who have shown up more than once, told me in detail things they liked and didn't like about our songs. It is a learning experience and they are noticing so many things, all because they want to support me and bowl.

It is important to note that not every band that plays Punk Rock Bowling is a punk rock band. It is not only "Punk Rock" in music style sometimes, it is also punk rock in ethics and philosophy... I don't know if I can defend that one, so I am going to give up now. But, it is true that non-punk bands do perform.

Everybody loves to bowl in a place where the music can become so intense and exciting that you can no longer hear the crashing of the pins.

Every person wants to play a show where bowling balls hitting pins can add extra artistic beats to your songs.

Everybody wants to attend Punk Rock Bowling.

What interesting, unorthodox weekly venues does your open framed, gutter city have?

Unemployment Rate

Something that keeps many of us in our current city/state is the job that we have. Some of us moved from our hometown to take that one job after college. Some of us have stayed at home, most of the time in our parents basement, for our whole lives and stay there for that job. Some of us have moved to an area first and found a job later.

After looking at these statistics, no matter what your reason for moving was, I think Minnesota is the place for all of you.

In case you are bad with numbers and don't understand what percentages are (they are usually out of 100%, but sometimes people get that wrong too) I created (colored) a map of the united states.




Green State = Minnesota -or- The place you should be
Red States = Some of the unemployed states you live in
Yellow States = Places that have a lower unemployment rate than Minnesota
Numbers = The ranking of some states. The lower the number, the lower the unemployment rate.


You will probably notice there are 12 states ahead of Minnesota. I at least hope you will since I noticed this and highlighted them yellow. If you decide to move to one of them, since many of them are near Minnesota, I will believe it is your way of taking baby steps to live closer to me.

If you don't like the way your state performs in the unemployment race, lets check how cities fair.

In the top 100 Metropolitan areas, Minnesota has 7 cities/areas (including number 2 and 3). Bloomington, Indiana (65) and Cape Girardeau-Jackson, MO-IL (85) are the only Metropolitan area in the top 100 for people reading this blog (assumption is for Indiana, Tennessee, Michigan, Florida, Illinois).

Some more city statistics:

Chicago-Naperville-Joliet, IL-IN-WI = Number 260 with %10.3 unemployment
Nashville-Davidson--Murfreesboro--Franklin, TN = Number 210 with %9.0 unemployment
Flint, MI = Number 362 with %16.1 unemployment
Detroit-Warren-Livonia, MI = Number 358 with %15.4 unemployment
Indianapolis-Carmel, IN = Number 163 with %8.2 unemployment


If you are ever looking for a new job, wanting to move to an area that has better job opportunities, trying to find a place that has a diversified economy, or simply wanting to get out of the basement, Minnesota may be your place.

*************************
Serious Note:
All tomfoolery aside, I hope nobody really gives up on their cities/states because of unemployment reasons only. There is way more to choosing where you live and I hope you all understand that and know that I understand that. In fact, many times we may wish to do the opposite and move to a place where people are struggling to find work. Maybe it is our passions, maybe it is the non-profit that we work for, maybe it is our desire to live in solidarity with others, maybe we love the area, maybe it feels like home. These are all reasons (and there are many more) to defy moving to an area based on an unemployment rate.

Plus, if everybody moved to Minnesota, there would be a lot more people here looking for jobs, which would negate anything I worked (typed and researched) for.

Serious Note End
*************************

What kind of better than Minnesota unemployment rate does your job seeking state have? Oh wait, I already answered that question.

Zombie Pub Crawl

Do you like to drink alcohol?
Do you like bars/pubs?
Do you like Zombies?

Even if you answer no to all of these questions, I am fairly certain you can like or appreciate the Zombie Pub Crawl.

According to friend testimonies and Wikipedia the Zombie Pub Crawl started in Minneapolis (that is one of the cities in Minnesota if you are just joining us) in 2005. The Crawl has become a well established and well attended event since it started.

Before we analyze this spectacular event let me give you the story of my first run in with the Zombie Pub Crawlers.

The year is 2008 and Totally Harsh (RIP) was playing at the Bedlam (another great post on its own, with great stories). I was somewhat confused that people were at our show dressed up like zombies, but I thought, "oh well, we are a hardcore punk band, there is a huge crust city the Bedlam's mission is "is to produce radical works of theater with a focus on collaboration and a unique blend of professional and community art." Zombies hanging out at shows seem to be part of radical theater. I just enjoyed the images, makeup and costumes and considered it a fluke.

A little later in the evening, before we played our set, Mary, Trev and I (band mates) decided to head to the Triple Rock (not the Baptist Church from Blues Brothers) for food and drink. Walking outside I saw zombies everywhere. I realized then that the plot of Night Of The Living Dead, Shaun Of The Dead, or any other zombie movie was now a reality. Although these zombies weren't trying to eat my brains, they were just looking for a drink, probably after a long day of eating brains.

I was told it was the Zombie Pub Crawl and it made perfect sense that something like this would happen in Minneapolis. We do awesome stuff like this here.

Why is a Zombie Pub Crawl a good thing? Why do I even have to ask that question? Sure zombies have been cool for a long time. They are similar to ninjas, pirates, robots, and dinosaurs. All of these things have their moments of being hip and the cycle always comes back to them, but this seemed to move beyond that.

For once we could have zombies roam areas and get a drink with a human rather than just passing you on the street or eating your brains. Instead of a typical Zombie Walk where you gather a large amount of zombies in one place, the Zombie Pub Crawl participants freely make their way between pubs and interact with the rest of the population like they are a part of it.

If none of this means anything to you, at least admire the costume and makeup creativity and talent that goes into some of these zombie outfits.

Also, if you can't get enough zombie action in one pub crawl a year, feel free to stop by Donny Dirk's Zombie Den in Minneapolis.

What kind of zombie traditions has your non-undead city started?

Ice Skating Rinks

Since the Winter Olympics are starting very soon, I felt like explaining something cool about the winter and Minnesota.

Scattered throughout the Twin Cities metro are Ice Skating/Hockey(with boards)/Broomball rinks, outside, in many parks. The best part of this is they are free (and maintained) for people to use. In your city, you may have ice rinks or ice arenas inside large buildings (eyesores) for you to escape your boring, non-winter reality; these are places you have to pay to enter. Well not in Minnesota. We believe that ice skating is a natural human right, or something like that.

I understand you can argue that we pay taxes to keep these ice rinks around. I cannot deny that, but here is why it is better than paying your 5-10 dollar admission to skate in your arenas.

1. We pay taxes for the awesome parks (which we have in abundance and I can post on that later) already, so the land is already there. You could say we are making sure we use the park year round, by flooding it with water and letting nature turn it into a winter wonderland or frozen tundra (whichever you prefer).

2. Skating outside and seeing the beautiful parks, neighborhoods and busy streets is more exciting, tranquil and captivating than being inside.

3. It is free for everybody. Some people cannot afford to pay your ridiculous admission rates for themselves or for a family. Here they can skate free as often as they want.

All of this doesn't even include all of the lakes spread throughout the state, both inside of populated city areas and sparse rural areas. The incredible number of lakes in this area should be another post.

If you still like to skate inside, we have places like that too, especially something exciting like the Depot in Minneapolis.
The Depot, Minneapolis

If you live in Québec or any of the Canadian places listed here that have superior ice rinks and trails, disregard everything I said, but still move here.
Outdoor Ice Skating Rinks & Trails in US and Canada

What kind of outdoor winter options does your boring city offer?

Mystery Science Theater 3000

All the cities that we live in have a history associated with them and some people have said that our history defines us. If this is true, and it is going to be true for my argument today, then we should take a long look into where we live and see if your city has something this great in its past.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K for the cool kids) is a show that ran from 1988 to 1999 and taught us all how to love life and to laugh once again. Every episode we visited our friends Joel, Mike, Crow, Tom Servo, Gypsy, Cambot, The Forrester's, Brain Guy, Bobo, the beloved TV's Frank, Trumpy, and so many more. These friends taught us one of the most important life lessons of all; it is good to laugh, not only to laugh, but laugh at the world around us. If you were sitting in a boring high school/college class, what better way to get through the class then to crack jokes (either silent or out loud if you had the courage). Was work incredibly boring, annoying, or tiring? How about bringing some of that old MST3K charm into your life and workplace, it can make every dull moment count. Were you sick of people trying to show you the "coolest" movie, band, piece of art, or birthday cake when you knew it sucked? You would embrace every moment that wasn't enjoyable if you learned anything for this little show.

Reasons why MST3K was important and why you missed out if you never gave it a chance. (If you did watch the show and did not like it, I feel sad and someday I hope your heart and mind will be open to the laughs and the life lessons).

1. It taught us to see the folly in our life and the life around us.
2. You slowly become a more positive person. Never again will you say, "I hate hanging out with XXXXXX", you will find something to keep you entertained.
3. If the last point sounds mean, understand that if you no longer spend your time being upset, you are free to appreciate things you never noticed before.
4. The more you know, the more enjoyable the show is. This is kind of like Jeopardy or quiz bowl. More jokes make sense when you understand history, random facts and pop culture better. You can watch the same episode over and over throughout the years and still laugh at something new.

You may be asking yourself, "Russell, what does this have to do with Minnesota and history?" I'm glad you asked that.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 started and was based in the Twin Cities (also cool kids know the Twin Cities as Minnesota's Minneapolis/Saint Paul and the surrounding suburbs).

So, come to Minnesota where the roots of laughter and new outlooks on life are plentiful and historical.

Also, I have hosted a wonderful MST3K night with good friends, good food, and good laughs and I plan to have many more in the future.

Feel free to tell me about the life changing shows has your crappy city has created.

Hopeless

I decided to start a blog, attempting to convince my friends to move to Minnesota. All of you from Detroit/Flint/Indianapolis/Nashville/elsewhere, you know who you are and why you apparently hate me because you don't live near me.

I understand that most, probably all, of you will stay where you are or move to another non-Minnesota location someday. Because of this, my blog will hopefully serve one of two purposes:

1. Convince you to move to Minnesota. This is a small and hopeless possibility, but it won't stop me from trying.

2. Make everybody who doesn't move here feel very guilty for neglecting me and all that is Minnesota.


When the topic is brought up, every one of you gives a single excuse for not moving here. "It is cold!" Think of this blog as a pros/cons list of reasons to move to Minnesota. So far you only have one con, the weather. I understand people don't want to live in below 0 (Kelvin) temperatures, but hopefully you will be won over by the pros that I present.

Today's reason to move to Minnesota:
I live here (hopefully that is not a reason for you to not move here).