Oregon Trail, Number Munchers and A Plethora of Great Games

I would be amazed if any of my friends, who grew up in the USA, do not remember The Oregon Trail. You know, that game that everybody always brags about being able to play in school, acting like they were the only group of people who ever played the game and that their early education was so much better than yours for it. Let me first start out by saying, you are wrong sir/mam. We all played that game. We know what it was like to have a family member die of dysentery, hunt for buffalo and be sad that you could only bring back a fraction of the meat (what can i say, buffalo buffalo, buffalo buffalo buffalo, buffalo buffalo buffalo), and finally reach that rafting scene at the end. You are special, each and everyone of you, but not for the unrealistic idea that you were the only person who was able to play The Oregon Trail.

So what does The Oregon Trial have to do with Minnesota? Was Minnesota some barren wasteland your adventures had to travel through?

The Oregon Trail was created by MECC, also known as the Minnesota Educational Computing Consortium/Corporation. That is right, MECC, that source for every reason why we loved computer hour in class, the reason why we all look fondly on the Apple II systems because none of you really used these outside of using it with a MECC program (especially if you were from my school system because I remember hacking around in these from 2nd to 5th grade). Most of you who say, I loved the old Apples or the old Apple IIs or the old Apple IIgs', really meant, I loved MECC. Which must translate to, I loved Minnesota.

There were tons of games, educational software that was surprisingly fun and educational games that were some of the best games I ever played in my life. One of those was Number Munchers. Who doens't like a game where you play some green frog like Muncher who is told to eat only prime numbers as they have to escape from Troggles? Probably somebody who hates math, but still, the concept is awesome.

Or what about creating your own Lemonade stand, learning all about economics, supply and demand, and uncontrollable factors harming/helping a business?

We all had our favorite games (mainly The Oregon Trail for most people I talk to) and the majority of us grow up having extremely fond memories of this period in our childhood, also known as the MECC period (sure I just created that). That is all thanks to the wonderful people here in Minnesota. Minnesotans understand that education is important (unlike some of your States) and finding innovative ways to change education for the better (or just for the most fun) is our calling.

The next time you bring up The Oregon Trail in your nostalgic conversations, remember, you weren't the only one who played it, and that is a beautiful thing, because Minnesota found a way that all of us non native Minnesotans could enjoy one of the best parts of our childhood education.

What kind of old school cheesy pixelated education games did you bliping and beeping city have to offer?

Terracide

I have a hard time deciding how I wish to write about music and bands on this blog. There are tons of bands that are great that are from here. We are quite proud of them. However,  I understand every city/state/country has great bands (well probably not every city. I'm looking at you Nashville (yes I realize Nashville has many great bands including the amazing From Ashes Rise that started there. I just wanted to rile up the famous Mr. Stogner, since he seems to accept my challenge to list good things from his state. Thanks Derek)).

Even though I would like everybody to move to Minnesota over a single band, I understand this will not be a strong selling point, especially to those who don't care for hardcore/punk/thrash/metal.

Allow me to introduce to you Terracide. I love this band and here are the reasons why:
1. The first time we played a show with them, I instantly was amazed (which is sometimes hard for a band to give a great first impression).
2. At the same show, I picked up their new release (at the time) on tape. Yes, they, like all good bands, have released music on audio tape.
3. Their albums are free through Jim's stellar ASS Records where you can download both The Dead and Crusades (my favorite) for those not fortunate enough to have access to the tapes.
4. The albums are theme albums, with continuing characters and stories throughout both albums (so definitely grab the lyrics when you download the songs)
5. They just rock. Enough said.

Like I said, one band isn't enough to make you want to move here, but don't write off Minnesota yet. Like many other aspects of Minnesota (as I have explained in earlier posts about various events like Zombie Pup Crawls and epic TV shows like MST3K), Terracide expresses one thing that I love about Minnesota and the Twin Cities. We create things that are for ourselves and from our hearts. We don't try to appease the rest of the world by creating generic crap. In the alleged words of another Minnesota great:

“When we write a joke, we never ask, ‘Who’s gonna get this?’ We always say, ‘The right people will get this’.” - Joel Hodgson

I think Terracide expresses this and is a great example of this entire area, an area you are missing out on enjoying.

What random unheard of thrashy sci fi hardcore band does your creating everything for the masses city have to offer?

Meat Raffle!

In the wonderful land of Minnesota, I am crowned King of the Meat Raffle (more on that story later). You are most likely asking, "Russell, what is a Meat Raffle?" It is exactly what it sounds like, raffling off meat.

In the great state of Minnesota (and also Wisconsin (remember, moving to Wisconsin is closer to me than staying in your rotting meat state), which is next to Minnesota for those who are poor with geography) we know how to have a good time when at a bar, pub, or out to grab a bite to eat. Apparently we raffle off meat at the same time to increase the amount of good times had by all. I know this idea seems hard to grasp, so I will walk everybody through it.

1. Some person unveils a table full of meat (everybody is in awe at this point).
2. The host(s) informs everybody what charity, athletic booster, school program they are raising money for (giving money to good causes and possibly getting free meat for it is a good thing).
3. The host(s) then walk table to table and stool to stool asking if people want to buy any meat raffle ticket for just $1 a piece (when they ask, there is this understanding that everybody wants to play. Why wouldn't you want to play? And guess what, you feel the same way).
4. You buy a ticket, or possibly more. However, there will be multiple games, so pick your favorite method (I choose the single ticket, mainly because we only had $1).
5. After they sell all the tickets they have for the current round, they spin the magic meat raffle wheel (it has numbers on it that should correspond to your ticket if you are the winner and you know how to read integers).
6. You check to see if you won. If you lose, try again with the next round (Cyclical excitement).
7. If you win, you walk up to a table with a ton of meat on it and pick your cut/package and they put it back in the freezer/fridge with your name on it to pick up before you leave (you now successfully conquered the meat raffle).

And that is basically all that happens. This might be a case of "you had to be there" to understand the beauty of the event. And guess what, it looks like moving to Minnesota is the easiest way to experience it.

My story. We only had $1, we played it in the first round, our number was called, we won. I guess the story seems simple, but think about the wonderful imagery above, describing the raffle, and then reread my story. It should sound better.

I know my vegetarian and vegan friends may be disgusted by the thought of a meat raffle. To remedy that, I invite you to move to Minnesota and we can throw an awesome farmers market raffle (yes we have those) or some other non-meat food raffle.

What for charity super good times watching a wheel spin calling out a number to inform you that you won a prize of more meat than you know what to do with event does your rancid meat city have to offer?

Snow!

That's right, it recently snowed here. Snow is awesome. We have it, you don't.

What kind of lukewarm, non-beautiful precipitation does your I'm afraid to drive, walk or breathe outside during the winter city have.

Attention - Free Rent In Minnesota

 A few weeks a wonderful Chicagoite? Chicagonian? Chicagogander? Let's just call him Jon, said he was waiting for a post with something similar to the title above:

Attention - Free Rent In Minnesota

I posted it again in case you couldn't see it or it was too far for you scroll up to see since I am sure you use some hindering resolution similar to 640x480. We don't do that in Minnesota.

Since the challenge (I considered it a challenge) I have been having a hard time thinking of a way to lure you into this fine state with Free Rent.

Here are the possible solutions I had and their downfalls:

1. Squatting - There are many places to squat in this city and you can even use the squatters symbol (like they did two doors down (no, not the band or the other lesser known (don't worry) flint area band)). Sure there have been some amazing actions in Minnesota helping people stay in their homes when they are being evicted around here (it gets cold here (trust me, you will love the weather)). The problem is, people squat everywhere, all over the country and world.

2. My Couch/Spare bedroom - As much as I would love to see all of you, I don't think my house can fit all of my family and friends (The entire lot (6) of you).

3. House Van - This is the best option. Did you know that Minnesota has the highest number of awesome nomadic van dwellers? It probably doesn't. I just made that up. Anyway, one of my friends (let's forever refer to him as Indianapolis Nate) already has a preferred parking space behind my house to park his future van house any time he wants. Once again, not everybody can live in my tiny parking pad in the alley.

There are more options, but they all end in the same place. You can't all fit in my house or they are no different that living in any other place. So, since you now understand that your city is no different than mine for free rent, quit your long search for a free place to live and just live here, since it is apparently the only thing holding you back.

What kind of... this one sucks. Make up your own "What kind of XYZ does your ABC city have to offer?"

Welcome To Pig's Eye

All of our cities and states have their interesting histories (not really yours, only mine does) that we can all be proud of or just baffled by. Sometimes the history is something that only the They Might Be Giants will appreciate.

Well, in the honor of Constantinople and New Amsterdam comes Pig's Eye, the city name that may only be rivaled by Porkopolis (apparently just a nickname, but a wicked nickname).

Pig's Eye, the once great name of what we now all refer to as Saint Paul, was the heart and center of all culture in the entire world and center to civilization during the... I had to stop myself there. None of that culture and worldwide civilization stuff is true. Pig's Eye is just a great name for a great city.

It all started with Pierre "Pig's Eye" Parrant, that nice looking man who thrived in a town that eventually was named after him (well at least after his nickname because I am fairly certain that his parents (nor legally through some government document) gave him the middle name Pig's Eye with or without the quotation marks around it).

We should all read/research the wonderful history of old Pig's Eye through various sites, look up information on Pig's Eye brand beer or look up information on what became of Pig's Eye following the name change to Saint Paul (in case you were wondering, it is still awesome).

What terrible and horrific names did your "I've only had one name and no imagination" city have in the past.

***Be warned if you do a image search on Pig's Eye. I did that to try and find a nice image of the Pierre of the likeness of him in the beer brand. It wasn't pretty, unless you like pictures of pig's eyes. I don't.***

Tall/Freak/Mutant Bikes

Continuing the bike trend is the amazing tall bike and types of freak/mutant bikes. If a bike a is a great thing, another bike that is made of multiple bikes must be a greater thing.

How do tall bikes, something that exists around the world, fit into Minnesota? Let me tell you about The Black Label Bike Club. The Black Label Bike Club (started in Minneapolis) is considered the first outlaw bicycle club.

All of the recent craze, including the international Black Label Bike Club chapters and many other bike clubs that have started, didn't start until this group of people from Minneapolis decided that they were going to do something cool/fun/unique (the way we like to do things here in Minnesota).

I could bore you with talking about tall bikes and describing why they are cool, but until you see them in person, hang out with friends who have them and get scared to get on one yourself, my words will probably mean nothing. So go, look them up, see crazy pictures, check out the history, look into your nearest bike club and remember to thank Minnesota for making it a popular thing for you to enjoy.

Punk comic Nothing Nice To Say had a continuing story about Bike Gangs and tall bikes, if you wanted to laugh while reading this (oh, and this guy was originally from Minnesota).

For Derek, who thinks it is too cold to ride a bike in Minnesota, check out this Nothing Nice To Say comic.

Also, here is a Minnesota new article in case you wanted a little more information.

When is the last time your short, single frame high city created a growing and sustainable subculture?

Cycles, Cycles, Cycles

After describing the amazing Pedal Pub to everybody, I decided to make cycles (in their many forms) be the next tangent for the foreseeable future (just to clarify, I do not mean unforeseeable, because I do know how many posts this tangent will contain).

I know most of you were thinking after the last post (feel free to tell me what happens when somebody assumes), that gigantic quadracycle looked amazing, but how would that be a practical way to traverse the city, especially since you need 8-10 people to power it. This is correct, unless all my friends move to Minnesota, then we will always have an abundant supply of leg power. Well, do I have a solution for you.

Bicycles. 2 wheels instead of 4. What a simple fix. Sure, each of your cities has bikes and many of you (hopefully) own a bike. I'm so glad for you, what a great accomplishment for your city (spoken in the tone when you demean somebody by saying "that's cute").

I did a little research (known as hanging out with friends and hearing typical conversations in this lovely state) and found out that Minneapolis is now considered the best bike city in America. Take that Portland. I don't know if "America" is supposed to be only the United States of America or the entire Americas. I am hoping for the entire New World.

Do you want to travel on the Greenway through the heart of the city?

Maybe you want to bike along the Mississippi for a beautiful nature ride.

Perhaps you want to bike through the streets on the many friendly bike lanes.

What number 1 green transportation ranking does your rusty chain, can't get out of 1st gear city have to offer?

Pedal Pub

It seems my posts may be a little too beer related lately. But what can you expect from a home brewer (look at me act like an expert after brewing just one delicious batch of beer)?

Recently I was invited to celebrate my brother-in-law's birthday. The plan was to ride on a gigantic quadracycle and drink beer for a few hours. Drink beer in the streets? What? In traffic? On a quadracycle (I didn't even know that was a real term)? Something didn't seem right/legal about this.

Let me introduce you to the Pedal Pub centered in wonderful Minneapolis, MN (you know, one of those cities in the state of Minnesota that I want you to move to). Don't worry, the person driving does not drink, you are just the human power of the operation.

Have you ever thought to yourself, I wish I could spend time with my friends getting exercise while we drink beer, rather than putting on millions of micrograms in each sitting? You have the opportunity here in Minnesota!

Have you ever though to yourself, I wish I could reinvent the idea of a pub crawl since it is so outdated and overdone? You have the opportunity here in Minnesota!

Have you ever thought to yourself, I wish I could join my friends and family and pedal a quadracycle through a beautiful city (with multiple routes, including custom routes), eat some snacks, drink some beer, laugh, wave to people on the street, and brag to my friends who don't live by me that I got to do all of the above on a sunny weekend? You have the opportunity here in Minnesota!

There are a some rules, which I think are important and make me enjoy it even more.
1. No yelling at people on the street.
2. Definitely don't yell at or act/speak lewd/inappropriate to children.
3. Don't get drunk and unruly.
4. Probably some others that mean the same thing as, don't be an idiot or jerk.

Do you not drink beer or alcohol? That is fine. You can take the trip with Root Beer and I imagine other non alcoholic drinks. We don't stop people from having a fun time with their friends on a quadracycle throughout a city in Minnesota based on their drink choice like your city most likely does.

What kind of get off your lazy butt (or sitting on your butt and burning calories by pedaling) drinking activities does your sluggish and repetitive drinking games city have to offer.

Competition

Before I get back to informing everybody of all the wonderful Minnesota activities/attractions/life changing locations, I feel I need to make a challenge to at least one individual (the challenge will be open to all).

A few days ago, I talked with a friend from Indianapolis, Indiana, whom I met at my current job and used to live in Minnesota and moved back to Indiana over 2 years ago. This friend has curly hair and has a last name that is 6 letters long. He/She also has a dog named Sada. This friend will remain nameless. My friend mentioned making his/her own blog about why Indianapolis is cool.

Well, I haven't seen this blog yet. It looks like there is no competition between Minnesota and any other place.

I guess to make this a reason why you should move to Minnesota I could say "Minnesota is the only place that has a blog dedicated to getting friends to move to Minnesota."

Minnesota is the only place that has a blog dedicated to getting friends to move to Minnesota

What super, awesome, extraordinary, rad, fantastic, totally harsh blog does your unsuper, unawesome, unextraordinary, unrad, unfantastic, untotally harsh city have to offer?